Welcome to the New You
A completed apology is not a one and done. When an apology and forgiveness are exchanged, it signifies a lifelong commitment to the lesson learned.
Compare and contrast yourself before and after your apology:
Pre-Apology "You"
- Unaware or not in control of feelings, thoughts, or impulses that created the harmful conduct
- Did not possess empathetic understanding of the victim as a whole
Post-Apology "You"
- Showed empathy & intimate understanding of the victim as a whole
- Earned forgiveness through action
- Made a concerted effort in service of the relationship
- Gained deep understanding of personal flaws & improved on them
Expectations
The experience of working together towards forgiveness should foster a mutually shared feeling of progress. Conversely, making the same mistake twice is indefensible regression and will deeply hurt the relationship. A new 'you' should be a better 'you' who is ready and willing to carry new heightened standards of the parties have put into the relationship.
Forgiving is not forgetting
A grant of forgiveness is not synonymous to a memory dump. Nor should there be an expectation of forgetting. The ritual of apology and forgiveness is a means to 'move forward,' not, 'go back to the way things were.' Critically, you also need to consider the fact that doing the same harm to the victim after the apology is exponentially harmful while nullifying the past apology.
