The "what" & the "why"
This step focuses on 2 things: (1) the causal relationship ; and (2) the root cause(s). This step asks 4 major questions, with 2 questions each exploring causal relationship and root cause(s) respectively. This will help you understand how to address the harmful conduct.
Hint: Organize your thoughts in written notes because handwriting notes improves memory.
Causal Relationship
Causality describes the relationship between two states. In this instance, the relationship between the harmful conduct and harm experienced by the victim.
What did you do?
Recall the precise action(s) leading up to & causing the harm.
How did it affect the victim?
Consider the reaction(s) by the victim & reflect about how they may have felt. Use empathy (see below). Think about this from multiple angles because how you might have reacted is not necessarily how they received it.
Root Cause(s)
Root cause describes the underlying emotional or mental motivation towards taking an action. In this analysis, we examine for malicious intent to cause harm. Acting on malicious desire is part of the causal chain leading to the victim’s harm. Understanding root cause(s) will be critical for formulating preventative restitutions (explored in Step 3).
Why did you do it?
Explore your thought processes motivating the action(s) through their execution.
Did you intend for the result?
Determine whether the actualized harm was your conscious intent and why.
Empathy means putting yourself in the victim’s shoes and understanding how the harm may have affected them, not how it would have affected you.
Understanding the harm from the victim’s point of view allows you to better formulate restitutions (explored in Step 3).
Accidents are actions that cause unintended consequences. Malicious actions are meant to cause ill consequences. Malicious actions generally come premeditated from the heart. Although, thinking or even acting maliciously does not automatically make a person malicious by nature, understanding when and how malice affects one’s actions will help them focus on fixing the underlying cause.
Immutable traits are traits which someone cannot control about themselves such as race, gender, sexual orientation, sexual identity, age, or disability. When a group outside of a demographic attacks someone for traits related to that demographic, lack of personal experience can blind the wrongdoer to the full impact of the harm. Becoming educated and developing insight beyond their personal experiences can put the wrongdoer in an informed and empathetic position to strengthen their apology. Conversely, failure to understand can weaken the effectiveness of an apology.