"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."
– The Buddha
The second stage focuses on maximizing the victim’s receptiveness towards your delivery of the apology & restitution(s)
Victim
After the cooldown period, the victim is likely still upset, standoff-ish, and experiencing a lack of trust. Critically, they feel like they are 'owed something.' The best approach is to pivot the idea that they are 'mad at you' and towards 'agreeing to work with you.'
Wrongdoer
Anxiety is normal but take comfort in having a plan, because most people don't. Like the previous stage, allowing emotions to boil over is strategically disadvantageous. And remember, it is not 'you vs. the victim,' but rather, 'you and the victim vs. the problem.'
Your tools
Tone
Maintain a calm, non-confrontational tone. Know when to express remorse. Aim to soothe the victim.
Body Language
Avoid defensive or hostile postures. Common positions to avoid include crossing arms, closed fists, not respecting personal space, or having too little (and sometimes too much) eye contact.
Energy
Monitor all parties' energy. Suffering from drainage hampers receptiveness and focus. Suggest breaks as needed but treat multiple sessions as one on-going conversation.
Active Listening
Let the victim speak and listen to them. Demonstrate your active listening and foster their trust by periodically repeating their statements back to them for understanding.
Steps of Negotiate Stage
