This step focuses on expressing empathy
Bringing the victim onto the same page
Self-reflection in step 2 is an exercise in empathy. You've done the work internally. Now is time to bring those thoughts outward. Verbalizing your inner discoveries regarding the causal relationship between the harmful conduct and the victim's experience & the root causes of your actions demonstrate your thorough understanding of the morality of the situation.
It shows (1) you took time and made an effort to consider their feelings; (2) felt guilty for your actions; and (3) and are shouldering the blame for the victim's suffering. In short, it communicates you know how it feels to 'stand in their shoes.'
On a side note, one of the reasons why immediately jumping to apologize after a major harm before a cooldown period is a bad idea is because the victim would be acutely aware the wrongdoer could not possibly have had time to reflect.
***Do NOT make excuses***
An excuse is an defend or justify the harm, and the reason for the victim’s suffering, on a reason other than the wrongdoer. The reason why excuses are so detrimental essentially boils down to, “you got the facts right but reached the wrong conclusion.” Excuses instantly make you seem insincere and will likely ruin the apology immediately.
The Power of Acknowledgement
To summarize, as part of the process, you first make an offer of acknowledgement of your conduct and the victim’s harm. Doing so has the following effects:
(1) Acknowledges your guilt;
(2) Demonstrates your empathy and understanding; and
(3) Shows that you want to work with the victim on solutions.
These steps prepare the victim to be receptive to the delivery of the apology and restitutions. It also satisfies two common questions victims generally demand: (1) “what are you apologizing for?”; and (2) “Do you know how you made me feel?“